02 . The Promised Land

We were wandering down Wilmslow Road on the way back from Em’s mum’s in Longsight, holding hands and talking shit when we heard a car slow suddenly behind us. Scared of rednecks or police we broke apart, started fooling like kids.

“You can stop playacting now.” A familiar head poked out of the passenger side of the old Fiesta cruising next to us. “Get in quick, before we leave you two losers here where you belong.”

The car stopped and Neil jumped out, flipping his seat up so we could bend down and crouch into the back, joining a skinny kid dressed in a Westwood polo shirt. We all shoved up, me squashed in the middle as usual, trying to retract my knees into my body as Neil put his seat back into position and slammed his door.

“This is Nick, he’s moving down here to go to college in Salford,” Neil explained. I shuffled round to say hi and smile, our faces were a little too close in the tight space and we turned back quickly. He seemed nice enough, Trev was driving, as usual. He smiled into his rear view,

“Hi there girls!” and turned to Neil, “You gonna build up or what?”

“Alright, hold your horses tiger!” Neil chuckled and started digging through a big black sports bag at his feet, bringing out a plastic bag stuffed full of weed. “Check it out Em!” he wiggled the sealed top at us and I felt Em react.

“No way, where d’ya get that from?” I knew if I turned to my left her eyes would be much wider than their usual stoned slope. Neil generally had that effect on her, but he ignored her question.

“No seeds in there you know,” he continued. “Lovely stuff.”

As he turned to busy himself laying out a spliff on the Road Atlas on his knee Trev drove on and out past the hospital.

“Where are we going?” I assumed we were heading to someone’s house for the night. Neil and Trev knew so many people from working in bars and clubs in town that they always knew where there was a party going on. We’d met at one of them and they’d adopted us that night; Neil called us their ‘baby lesbians’. He looked back now with a grin as Trevor indicated to turn onto the Parkway.

“You know you said we should take you next time there’s a party on at the Caves?” he paused, as we waited for the punch line. “Well, tonight’s the night. We were on our way round your house to see if you were in.”

“No way!”

I was so excited: I’d never expected them to make good on that promise, thought it was just something you’d say at three in the morning, but I was a bit nervous too. Parties at the Caves were like this secret thing that only a few people even knew about, and I’d thought I was pretty cool just knowing they existed but I thought of them like America or something, you dream about going but you know you probably never will. I actually started worrying about what it would be like, whether we’d get let in, if there was any way we could get into trouble, but my Mum was only meant to be ringing the house on Sunday and Em’s mum knew she was staying over at mine al weekend so that was alright.

“You’re a bit quiet. Here, have a try of this,” Neil passed the spliff he’s just made, ignoring our driver’s mock complaints, and I took a drag. It tasted nice, sweet and fragrant and full as it sunk into lungs and .. bloody strong! My eyes felt like they were vibrating in their sockets as I tried to focus out of the windscreen ad take another drag.

“Nice.”

I passed it forward to Trev, who was doing the driving after all, and sank back into the seat, which seemed much softer now, and I nodded towards Nick.

“Nice top.”

I felt his muscles relax a little where his side was squashed up to mine.

“Do you like it? Neil took me to buy it in this great shop today.”

“Hervia. Derek’s going to give him a job.” Neil had wriggled round to talk to us. “It’s nice isn’t it? I really want the green one.” They looked like conspirators, had obviously had a fun afternoon shopping together.

“Does anyone want some of this?” Trev passed the spliff back so Em could make a grab for it.

After that it all went a bit quiet, the weed was so strong. Trev put his new REACT tape on and we listened to the music and stared out the windows mostly, feeling like we were floating along in this lovely cocoon of music and cushiony friendship. It felt weird to be driving on the motorway to go to a party, like really we were going on holiday, except with no suitcases. I’d been to Chester and North Wales before with my mum and dad for weekends and days out so I thought it was funny that we were going past the places that I remembered from then, but with crazy music blaring on the stereo and without my parents arguing in the front. I wished Trev and Neil were my dads: I imagined that we’d live in a big old house that we’d decorate with cool things that we’d found in charity shops and have loads of records and talk about music and clothes.

The car was slowing down to turn into a Services then, which made us all wriggle up a little and collect ourselves. We parked up at the far end of the car park and climbed out, unfolding our stiff limbs, which had seemed so relaxed in the car, but we realised now had been tensed up for an hour or so. Trev ambled off towards the toilets.

“How far is it now?” The fresher air outside had revived me and I wanted to know what was happening.

“Not that far, but you have to know where you’re going,” Neil stretched his arms up and stood on his tiptoes, arching back, “so we’re waiting for some people here. Ah that’s good. Anyway it won’t start for ages.” He leant back inside the car and turned the volume up on the stereo. “I love this tune, have you heard it yet?” A kind of electronic Charleston tune came over the four/four beat. He straightened up and started to sway quickly from the waist up, screwing up his face. He looked over at Nicky, who smiled at him and they both started dancing in time, laughing, in the empty parking spaces.

“I need a wee.” Em nudged me, “you coming?”

I turned, and followed her towards the squat grey bunker of the Services, the picture of those two dancing behind me in their orange spotlight etched into my brain.

Of course once we got inside that weird brightly lit ambiance gathered us up and we had to look at everything, wandering round the shop giggling at the top shelf mags and trying to beat each other by stealing the most tacky object in there, (I think I won, with an Alsatian fridge magnet). We had enough money between us for more tobacco, and chewing gum and Rizla and some pop.

When we got back to the car Trev had bought us all little bottles of water which was cool. They were always giving us stuff, which made me feel bad because we never had much money and what we had went pretty quickly but they didn’t seem to mind, and so I tried to not think about it too much. We offered our pop around but they’d started on the Extra so they didn’t want any. A few other cars had drawn up and parked next to us to make the most of the music pumping out of Trev’s speakers. Neil seemed to know a couple of people and was chatting to a girl with long ginger hair. She was pretty and wearing a tight t-shirt and a miniskirt with trainers. She kept moving about in time to the music and nodding and smiling this beatific smile at Neil. I felt a bit jealous to be honest, I was so used to us having all his attention. They walked over to the car she had arrived in and a few moments later he came over and pressed something into my hand.

“Don’t say I never give you baby lesbians nuttin’,” he winked, and walked off.

I looked down at the pristine plastic bag in my open palm, a tiny round pill in the corner and an oblong wrap of magazine print next to it. I showed Em.

“Look, that’s like twenty five quid’s worth of stuff!”

“Yeah but he won’t have paid that for it.” Em was always the realist.

I looked up and smiled thanks over to the two of them.

01 . Teenage Crimewave

My legs were making sticky wet shapes on the plastic seat and I shifted around to try to find a dry patch. We were sitting outside Sally’s Cafe with all the usual everyday smoke and kids and smells of fried chicken and chips and old ladies blocking the pavement. Em was building up on her knee under the table with Jane, hyperactive Jane, jigging about as usual going on about some new vinyl she’d got in town. My thighs were starting a damp stain so I stood up.

“Want a drink?”

Em looked up, squinting at me through her glasses.

"Can I have another brew please?”

Jane didn’t answer, carried on about how dark Omni Trio were so I went inside. Out of the mad heat and hustle I couldn’t see for a few seconds, stopped inside the doorway to get focused on the chairs and tables which moved round everyday to accommodate groups and singles and pairs of people. The only places that never changed were there as usual - one table filled with sometimes one, two, three old dears, headscarves for the old girls and beige overcoats for the fellas, and the other, at the opposite end in the darkest corner some smackheads smoking Bennies until the day’s business was done.
I shuffled over to the counter, kicking a smackhead’s chair as I passed to perk him up a bit. Little Andrew looked up from a drawing he was doing.

"Can I have a large tea please?”

"You three’ve been sitting on my chairs over the last large tea for the past two hours. When are you going to make me some money, eh?”

Andrew looked cross but he never chucked us out and as long as the cafe wasn’t full he didn’t mind. What he didn’t make off us in cups of tea he made back in draw anyway. I reminded him of this. He banged my mug on the counter;

"Don’t get cheeky, and you smoke too much anyway. I might have to put my prices up for the good of your health.”

"Then we’d have to go somewhere else” I said as I put 50p on the counter and made my retreat “You’re not the only dealer round here and your stuff’s shit anyway.”

Andrew grunted something about school holidays and went back to his masterpiece.

Outside it was hot and heavy as ever and the pool that I’d left behind on the chair had gone already. My bum was still damp so I bent over and pointed it at the sun, touching my toes. A car swerved and nearly hit another one.

"What ARE you doing?” screeched Jane

"I’ve got a wet arse!” I had to shout through my legs so she could hear me. It wasn’t working so I straightened up and pulled my Calvins out of my bum crack. I felt something stiff in my back pocket and remembered the unopened letter that I’d put there this morning when I left the house. I didn’t want to open it, didn’t even want to know it was there.

Em had got the spliff up and lit by now and as she passed it to Jane she took a drink of tea.

"Euugh!” she spat on the pavement, hitting someone’s legs passing by; they turned and gave her a look of disgust before carrying on, “It’s got no sugar in it!”

"Well” I explained, “ I want some, and I don’t take sugar. I’ve had to drink yours with sugar in before.”

"You can have it.”

She pushed the mug towards me in disgust.

"The trouble is” started Jane “we’ve got another four weeks left before college starts and there’s only a couple of free houses this summer. Why won’t you let us use your house again Jo? Last time was brilliant!”

"Yeah but she’d kill me if I had a party after last time. She’s got the nasty neighbours watching the house and if anyone so much as farts I'm for it.”

"I’m bored of sitting here everyday, it’s boring, same old people going past and meeting the same lot down the park every night...let’s do something else for once.” Jane said the same thing every day but we never changed our routine. Get up after everyone in the house had gone out, then they’d come to my house and we’d make some lunch and leave the house before Mum came home on her break. Wander round a bit, come down to Sal’s, score a weed off Andrew and spend the rest of the day smoking it. By evening we’d go get some food at whoever’s house was free of parents and then down Fletcher Moss to see who was there. Sometimes there’d be a free house and we could go stay round for a week watching the telly as the house gradually turned from a relatively tidy home into a pigsty.

"There’s nothing wrong with it.”

Em was happy as long as she had enough Rizla to last her the night, otherwise she got jumpy.

Em and Jane went to Parrs Wood while I went to Burnage High. They’d been best friends since they were five which was weird because while Jane at sixteen was already an old hand, a schoolgirl DJ who seemed to know everyone who passed us by, Em was so laid back she was practically horizontal, with just about enough ambition to get her through school without any trouble. Jane had always looked out for Em and it was her that had come up to me and started talking at some gig we’d been at round Christmas time last year. We’d seen each other around and they’d both been to my house last summer when it got trashed but you don’t meet everybody who comes to your house when your parents are away so they’d just passed me by. Em was sweet and we’d been together pretty much since we met properly, except Jane was always around and the double act was beginning to annoy me. We were all going to the same college in September.

"There’s nothing to do anyway,” I pointed out to her. “Everything takes cash and we ain’t got none darlin’.”

Jane snorted, rolled her eyes and stood up. “I’m off anyway. You two are doing my head in with your shitty routine.” She stalked off, record bag banging the back of her skinny legs. I made a face.

“What’s got into her?” I asked Em.

"Dunno, it’s just Jane innit.” She shrugged and felt in her pocket for the tobacco.

We spent the rest of the day avoiding sunburn on the dark side of the street, feet on chairs, cheeking people who wanted to sit there. When Andrew felt the evening rush come in he came out and shooed us away.